What I Did On My Holidays

To my children who didn’t get the holiday this year. Not overseas, not down the beach for three days. Barely a day trip away. 

I’m sorry.

Sorry not sorry.

I’m not sorry that I had five glorious weeks with the greatest people in my world. That I got to witness the beautiful, and already strong, bond between my girls strengthen and strengthen, sleeping in the same room, spending every day side by side and yet still finding enough to chat and laugh  about to keep them up past midnight.

Every. Night.

I intended for us to spend a lot more time in the bush than we did. 

But Australia. Summer. Bush. 

Snakes. Fire.

Staying at home isn’t that bad.

But I’m sorry that when you go back to school teachers will use the subject of ‘what I did in the holidays’ as an introductory subject, as a get to know you topic, as a writing piece, probably even a reflection piece later on and you’ll hear these tales of what other people have done, and I know you’ll wish it was you. At least a bit.

And I hope, I think, I plan that it will be you next time, the one with the grand tales and memories to share. But this time, just remember you are not the only person in that room remaining silent and listening, that I guarantee. It just doesn’t feel like it at the time but that’s because it’s easier to notice the big voices than the small ones.

I know you guys are just as not sorry that we hung with the dog and cats every day. That our wild prickly boy cat is finally starting to chill out and understands that beating all the other pets up isn’t cool and that the word no actually has meaning, and consequence. That we’ve rehabilitated our stressed tabby girl and her fur is luxurious again, she’s smoochy and beyond that, not scared, because she knows how loved she is. I love that our dog had constant companionship, that we brushed his crazy fur again and again until he was finally only wearing his summer coat. 

I’m not sorry that we grew strawberries and tomatoes and silver beet and rhubarb and mint and loads of other things, we’ve even nurtured our own wild blackberries so I know we can eat them safely without wondering if they’ve been sprayed. Although I may be sorry about that later on.

I’m grateful for your companionship, your jokes, that you can confide in me, and your dad. I’m grateful that we all like each other enough to successfully survive a summer like this and still love each other enough to resent its finality. I’m grateful for the rest we had, in our increasingly busy lives.  For all the days we blobbed in the pool, ate hot chips and drank slurpees. I could never be sorry to spend a minute with you, let alone all the ones we had this summer.

So as we resume our busy pace, pick up new routines and immerse ourselves back into day to day lives, let’s not focus on what everyone else did. Let’s just remember us. Our summer. I think it was exactly what we all needed.